Over thinking things. All too often.

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. Why did I really come here? Saying it was for work seemed appropriate at the time, though now I'm not so sure. True, I got employment just a short time into moving up here, although I feel I've lost so much more. I must look on the bright side, I am finding more positivity and more meaning to life as of late. My focus is stronger and I am actively studying again, which is what I was missing as it turns out. I'm finding faith in spiritism, which gives me hope. Though I cannot help but feel I am still yet missing something real and tangible. I know the saying is "absence makes the heart grow fonder..." though this heart only aches as time passes. I find though my focus is getting better, and I do not freak like I used to, I'm still just a bit lost. I over think things still, and often say things that in retrospect, are likely confusing and emotionally taxing when I don't want or mean them to be. I must find the love and compassion within myself, so I do not scare off anyone I care for by letting that old self out. I know now what it means to care about someone so much it hurts. I really need to let that go. They know that they are in my thoughts, and I in theirs.
Back to my original line of thought... *why did* I leave home in Boise? It was certainly for growth, that is continuing, but also just because I honestly wasn't feeling like I could hack it. "Too much of the same" was an excuse. I realize that now. I'm giving myself a little while yet longer to figure all of this out. To honestly grow - building true love, compassion, and gratitude for all that I am. I'm the same person. Just building a better version.

Day 121 

Day 122 

Day 123 

Day 124 

Day 125 

Day 126 

Day 127 

Day 128 

Day 129 

Day 130 

Day 131 

Day 132 

Day 133 

Day 134 

Day 135 

Day 136 

Day 137 

Day 138 

Day 139 

Day 140

Day 141 

Day 142 

Day 143 

Day 144 

Day 145 

Day 146 

Day 147 

Day 148 

Day 149 

Day 150 

Day 151

And because I have been getting lax at this, here's another month. Must catch up on this quickly:

Day 152 

Day 153 

Day 154 

Day 155 

Day 156 

Day 157 

Day 158 

Day 159 

Day 160 

Day 161 

Day 162 

Day 163 

Day 164 

Day 165 

Day 166 

Day 167 

Day 168 

Day 169 

Day 170 

Day 171 

Day 172 

Day 173 

Day 174 

Day 175 

Day 176 

Day 177 

Day 178 

Day 179 

Day 180 

Day 181

I realize, it isn't just a daily documentary of pictures I find interesting... each one of these have a story behind them. What was going on that day? How were people feeling? Most importantly, what did I learn from them?